


Our Normal

by Jutschina



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Episode: s02e04 Meat, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-06
Updated: 2015-12-06
Packaged: 2018-05-05 08:39:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5368844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jutschina/pseuds/Jutschina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Plays during/after the episode "Meat". The first part continues the conversation of Rhys and Jack on their way to pick up the team (after it ended in the episode with Rhys' remark "You're not gay by any chance, are you?")</p>
            </blockquote>





	Our Normal

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Torchwood Fic Week 2015, to the prompt "Perspectives". To explain this a bit, I think that especially the first part fits in this prompt because we get to know a bit about Rhys' view of Torchwood and how it affects Gwen. And we see events of this episode out of Jack's perspective in particular :)
> 
> And, because it was written in a great rush (because written for the fic week), I hope you excuse any mistakes. When I have some time, I will take another look at it and edit again if necessary. 
> 
> Until then, I hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think ♥

"Just wished you would've been uglier", Rhys quipped and laughed, making Jack smirk. "You're not gay by any chance, are you?"

The Captain chuckled, and demonstratively let his eyes wander over Rhys' body. "Oh, you people and your quaint little categories", he answered, raising his voice in a suggestive manner.

The other man shot a quick glance at him and snorted. "So, what's that supposed to mean?"

Jack grinned. "Want me to show you? - No, really, you've got nothing to worry about. Gwen loves _you_. And as for me - I got a man."

Rhys' eyes widened. "Oh, do you?", he asked after a few seconds of silence. "And what about him? Does he know 'bout Torchwood?"

Jack frowned. "You've met him, actually." As the other man squinted in thought, the Captain added: "Ianto."

"Ohh--" Rhys slowly nodded. "So, you and him? Didn't notice that you--- well, now that I think about it, it makes sense, I suppose."

Jack smiled, wondering if Rhys was now remembering their banter at the Hub. After all, the team complained often enough that he and Ianto already sounded like an old-married couple, and he had to admit that he liked that idea.

"Are you two happy, then?", Rhys interrupted Jack's thoughts.

The Captain tilted his head. "Why wouldn't we be?"

Rhys shrugged his shoulders. "Well, with Torchwood and everything. Doesn't it get to you? I'm just gettin' familiar with this all, y'know, I mean - Aliens, what the hell?! But on the other hand, I've known Torchwood for quite a while by now."

Jack raised an eyebrow, not sure where Rhys was going with this. "What d'you mean?"

"Well, what it does. What it does to Gwen. Changed her." The man snorted. "At least now I can start to understand."

Jack sighed and looked out of the window, his eyes following the passing landscape. "Like you said. Aliens, what the hell. Might change people."

"It's more than that. You said it yourself, you see enough death. Y'know, back when she first told me that she's in 'Special Ops' now, there was something in her eyes. A sparkle, a fire, y'know, as if she'd seen a new world - and she has, hasn't she? But that's not what I meant. 'Cause then there's all the nights she doesn't come home, out with you lot, and when she does, she's tired and exhausted. Sometimes hurt, and not just physically, also--- y'know, I remember this one time; I came home, and there she was, sittin' on the sofa, wrapped in a blanket, and crying. And she just said: 'That's what Torchwood does. It breaks you.'"

Jack didn't know how to respond to that. He slowly turned his head to face Rhys. The man glanced over to him and cleared his throat.

"Sometimes... sometimes I'm afraid of losing her - and I don't even mean.... that she could--- But I'm afraid that one day a woman comes home, and it isn't Gwen anymore."

"I wont let that happen!", Jack hurried to say. "And... as long as she _has_ you to come home to - as long as she has this normal life to hold on to... she'll be fine in the end. She's strong, and she's amazing."

Rhys cracked a smile. "Yeah, I know she is. That's why I love her so much." He paused for a moment, before he hesitantly continued. "So, what about you and Ianto? How do you deal with it?"

Jack frowned, startled by the welsh man's question. "Um - I- I guess it's different for us. Torchwood... it's our life. Has been for most of the time. Whatever we do, it's always around us, even when we're not at the Hub, or chasing an alien. I guess we just don't have this... Torchwood life _and_ a normal life. That's why I keep telling Gwen to hold on to what she got."

"You do?", Rhys asked in a suprised voice.

Jack shrugged. "Of course. She's the only one of us who still has that - a proper normal life, I mean. Believe me, I envy her for that." He frowned, and looked away. He had no idea why he'd even opened up to Rhys like that. _Maybe because he was that honest with me._

"So, you miss normalcy?", Rhys asked. "Can't you ever get away from it all?"

Jack sighed. He thought of the rare weekends that he and Ianto actually spent outside of the Hub - mostly at Ianto's flat, and often with Ianto sleeping half of the day to catch up on the sleepless nights of their full-packed weeks of chasing aliens. There were even less occasions where they actually went away on a small trip. A few hours every month where they actually could forget Torchwood - this was all the "normalcy" they ever got. "Yes, I do miss it", he answered quietly.

Rhys made a right turn and Jack recognized the street where the team was waiting for them. He cleared his throat. "There they are."

The other man shot a glance at him and back on the street. "Right. Uh, Jack - good talk... I guess."

The Captain raised an eyebrow. There was a strange feeling in his stomach. "Yeah."

 

 

Jack was wide awake. Too many thoughts were swirling around in his mind. Ianto was cuddled against him and groaned in his sleep.

The Captain pondered about the events of the past day, especially about his fight with Gwen about retconning Rhys. To be honest, he didn't even know why he'd been so determined to get the man retconned. After all, half Cardiff knew what Torchwood was anyway, and it would've been only a matter of time until Gwen's fiance would've stumbled over them again. And for Gwen, finally the lies came to an end. In conclusion, not retconning Rhys made more sense than doing so - so what had been Jack's point?

The man sighed. _Tough day._

He still was rapt in thought - already considering sneaking out of bed and finding some rooftop to stand on - as he suddenly noticed that Ianto's breathing changed. The young man had been restless all night, moving around in the sheets, and now he was panting and groaning and flailing. Alarmed, Jack sat up, switched the nightlight on, and pinned Ianto's hands to the mattress. "Ianto!", he called. "Ianto, wake up!"

All of a sudden, the welsh man blinked and stared up to Jack. His mouth opened as if to scream but not a sound left his throat. Jack could see the sweat on his face, and felt the wetness of Ianto's hands beneath his own.

"Ianto", Jack said again, this time softly. Carefully, he let go of his lover's hands and gently carressed his cheek. "It was just a bad dream. Are you alright?"

Ianto gazed at him wide-eyed, then swallowed hard and slowly sat up. "Yeah", he murmured in a weak voice. "Think so. Sorry."

Jack frowned. "What for? Don't apologize for having nightmares."

Ianto cleared his throat, and cuddled up closer to the Captain. He was slightly shaking, and Jack grabbed the blanket and wrapped it tightly around the young man and himself.

"It's over now. Okay?"

Ianto nodded slowly, and laid his head on Jack's shoulder. "Just hold me for a bit", he whispered, and Jack responded with tightening his grip around his lover, and tenderly stroking his back.

"You wanna talk about it?", he asked in a gentle voice, pressing soft kisses onto Ianto's ruffled, sweaty hair.

Ianto laughed nervously. "Oh, it's just... it's ridiculous, never mind."

"Can't be ridiculous if it gives you nightmares."

"If you say so, Sir." Ianto paused, and for a while just stayed quietly in Jack's embrace. The Captain noticed with relief that his breathing soon normalised, and that the shaking stopped. "I dreamed about... today, huh."

"Today?"

"Yeah, um... well, you know, the guy that tried to kill me... I dreamed that---" Ianto stopped. Jack felt a cold shiver running through his body, and he pulled his lover even closer. "I dreamed that there still _was_ a bullet left in his gun, and that... that he shot me."

Jack closed his eyes and stopped in his movements of stroking Ianto's back. He replayed the scene in his mind. He remembered how his heart had skipped a beat as that guy had tried to kill Ianto. And then he had--- "Oh, Ianto, I'm sorry", he breathed, burying his face in the young man's hair.

"Told you it's ridiculous --- wait, what are you sorry for?"

"I--- I just... oh god, that man almost killed you... and I -- I didn't even let you rest for a minute, did I? Just sent you straight after him. I should've... should've cared for you, better than I did."

Ianto turned to look at him with a small smile. "Don't, Jack. Don't say those things. Hey, I had the chance to stun-gun them. That was fun."

Jack beamed at his Ianto, always something smart to say. "Bet it was. But still-"

"Nightmares go away", Ianto shut him up with a shrug. "We have them all the time, not a surprise with the things we see. I was scared today, and I was scared tonight, but that is just how things are with Torchwood sometimes."

Just now, Jack remembered Rhys quoting Gwen - _That's what Torchwood does. It breaks you._ He closed his eyes for a moment.

"Y'know what, you really deserve a weekend off. What d'you say, you and me, fancy a trip? We-- we could book a flight, some capital in Europe, it'd be so romantic!"

Ianto grinned and nodded. "Oh yeah, that would be quite something."

"Then why don't we just do it?" The Captain squeezed Ianto's hand and moved to get up. "Come on, I get your laptop, and you think about where you wanna go!"

"Oh, Jack", Ianto shook his head with a little chuckle. "You've seen the rift predictions - something's coming through, and it doesn't look nice. We can't leave the others alone with this one."

The grin froze on Jack's face, and the excited sparkle in his eyes vanished. He'd been caught already in the beautiful fantasy. "Oh", he murmured, sinking back down. "I know it's silly... haha... just had hoped... we'd get a bit of... _normal_..."

"Jack..." Ianto's voice was soft and as gentle as his smile. He raised his hand to cup the older man's face. "Hey, we'll save the world instead. Not bad either, is it? That's what we always do. And you know, this - this is just... our normal. "


End file.
